The Blogging Equivalent Of A Bus

It would appear I'm getting into this blogging business. The only trouble is that I fail to think of what to blog about. I'd blog more about my daily experiences, but as a 19 year old bar wench, life isn't really all that exciting on a day-to-day basis. Yet do not fret, for I have found an ingenious way in which I can come up with new topics. I ask my friends for ideas.

In hindsight, I could have told you about how today was the first day of my Foundation Degree in Hospitality Management. Yet it has been suggested that I write a post about wallpaper instead. Now, as a closet nerd, I view life as a bit of a game. Every time I pass a challenge, I level up in life. Needless to say, blogging about wallpaper seems like one hell of a challenge, and I'll be damned if I miss a chance to level up.

So. Wallpaper. The concept of the stuff is pretty simple for those of you who haven't come across it before. It's paper, that you stick on your walls. What gets me is that someone had to come up with that idea first. Who sat there watching paint dry on a wall and thought "there must be another way".

Over the years (all 19 of them) I've encountered wallpaper a number of times. My first REAL experience, however, was when I was 6 years old and I got to decorate my new room. My mum took me shopping and let me pick my own wallpaper. I wasn't ever a conventional 6 year old girl, so instead of the baby pink patterned wallpaper my mum was trying to push me towards, I insisted on this one:

It looked a bit bare in places, so being the creative child I was, I filled in some of the white patches, with more dots.

Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to decorate my room ever again.

These days, wallpaper has come a long way from its original designs. Not only can you now get textured wallpaper, you can even get 'no paste' wallpaper. All genius inventions, I'm sure you'll agree. Yet apparently there was a gap in the market for something more. What about the people who wanted textured wallpaper, without the texture. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the (not-so) wonderful world of optical illusion paper. Now I know what you're thinking, but don't. This stuff, in the right setting, can be pure genius. Imagine, if you will, a young bar wench goes for some drinks with her colleagues in a different bar. A bar that has recently been refurbished. She sits with her drink, and after a few, she notices the walls appear to be made of studded leather. Once she is sure no one is looking, she touches the wall, only to discover it is completely flat. Impressed, yet feeling a little foolish, she carries on socializing. Yet her feelings of foolishness soon subside, when her boss (a formidable man who's intelligence should never be questioned, even if he declares 1+1=3) reaches out and touches the wall. Instantly, all feelings of inadequate intelligence dissolve, elating the young bar wench's feelings of self-worth to a new high. That is, until she dribbles her drink on herself.

So you see? Wallpaper has so much potential. It can allow a child to express their inner lack of creativity, or demonstrate to people that it's okay to be stupid, because everyone else is too. Wallpaper is, without a doubt, the best invention man ever designed to be stuck onto vast areas of walls with paste.